Workplace Survival Kit!

Here’s a lil list of life-saving time-wasters for the endless workday.  If anyone has something they think should also be on the list, comment me  for a FistPound.

User-generated self-loathing: www.Fmylife.com:

Today, on the crowded train, a cute guy called me over and told me to stand next to him because there were less people there. We started talking, but he left before I could get his number. Just when I was about to tell my friends about it, I find out that he stole my phone. FML

This is what I’m watching now: Chomsky vs. William F. Buckley

Although it was funnier and less sold-out before he landed a book deal, it should still be mentioned, www.stuffwhitepeoplelike.com like: taking a year off, political prisoners, statistics, having gay friends, study abroad, and public radio!

www.jacksonpollock.org for a mindsplattering good time

Here’s a segment from a local gem that might still be appealing for non-NYawkers, www.overheardinnewyork.com:

Friendly guy to two cute girls speaking French: Hi, where are you girls from?
Girl #1: We are from Switzerland.
Friendly guy: Oh, so you speak Swedish?
Girl #1: No, we speak French.
Friendly guy, slowly: So then, you come from France?
Girl #2: No, we come from the French-speaking part of Switzerland.
Friendly guy, confused: Oh, okay. So uh, how long did it take you to drive here?

–Burger King, W 42nd St

 http://thisissand.com/ will surprise you with its staying power

petswhowanttokillthemselves.com  This is my favorite. 

IT DIDN’T TAKE LONG FOR THE CATS TO EXHAUST THEIR USUAL PARTY TOPICS—THAT NIGHT’S COSTUMES, THE FUTILITY OF  ESCAPE, RINGWORM—BEFORE MR. WHISKERS CASUALLY INTRODUCED THE IDEA OF A SUICIDE PACT. (HatTip: Sara)

fuckyoupenguin.blogspot.com  This is one of my all-time favs:

[tamarin.jpg]

What are you, in the witness protection program? Or is that supposed to be ironic and you actually hate beards? Honestly, Tamarin, I think it’s time to move on to a style that says something other than “I’m a really big fan of the TV show ‘Kung Fu.'” And the tail, GOOD FUCKING GOD, MONKEY. There’s no excuse for keeping yourself in such shoddy condition. ARE YOU A FUCKING CLEVELAND BROWNS FAN? I’m sure you’ve gotten away with a lot up to this point in your life because you are a monkey, and the more you look like an old man the more attention you get. But it’s time to grow up, Tamarin. Take some responsibility for your actions.  (HatTip: jHo)

 Also, a part of me must include this more serious item in the Kit: PostSecret

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2 Responses to “Workplace Survival Kit!”

  1. barrett. Says:

    i love the overheard websites. overheardinathens.com is definitely bookmarked on my computer. and i’ve been telling everyone about fmylife.com. i definitely had an fmylife moment today. HAHAHA!!!!

  2. thing'll scoot Says:

    I read Fmylife at work for 6 hours yesterday. 32 pages. On my phone. FML.

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